05.25.08
Break Free from Worry
Entrepreneurs often spend too much time worrying. Statistically, 85% of the things we worry about will never happen. Those things include worries over our past that can never be changed, worries over which we have no control, irrational concerns or fears, and worries about the future. Worrying about something never solved the problem or affects the final outcome in any way.
Excessive worries cause negative emotions that release chemicals into our bodies which wreak physical havoc - high blood pressure, headaches, heart conditions, and more. I loved Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. Worry can ruin relationships, make your face drawn and ugly, and affect every aspect of your life negatively. Leo Buscaglia said, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” The more attention you pay to worries, like plants, they grow bigger and stronger, until they control you. Someone once said, “People gather bundles of sticks to build bridge they will never cross.”
How do we deal effectively with worry? Action. Pat Schroeder said, “You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.” Face you fears. Shine the light of intelligent, rational, and balanced evaluation on them, and the shadows of fear and emotionalism will retreat. Here’s my personal recipe for handling worry. I have a very vivid imagination, so you should know that I have to carefully manage my tendency to make mountains out of molehills and elaborate expansively on the smallest concerns.
I was walking from a business meeting to my car in a parking lot when I realized that I was in a constant state of worry. I knew I had to take control of things right away, so I took advantage of the fact that there were no people anywhere close and I could have a good, long talk with myself. I have found this to be very therapeutic, talking out loud to myself. I would literally ask myself, “OK, Robin, what is your biggest worry?” I would answer myself. Then I would ask, “Why do you worry about that? What’s the worst that can happen? What if it does happen? What would you, or could you do? What do you fear losing?” and answer all these questions. I would then mentally put each of these worries in a tin can on a big shelf. I would name my five biggest worries (or more, if necessary), put them all in cans on the shelf, then one by one, in my mind, as I walked around that parking lot, I would take the can off the shelf, open it up, examine it in detail, and create an action plan.
For example, if I needed to write a letter, make a call, set up a meeting, or whatever action was necessary, I would resolve to do that, put it on a mental “Action List”, and take the can of the shelf. If there was absolutely nothing I could do to alleviate that worry, remove it, or prevent that which I feared, I would realize that there was nothing I could do, and I would take it off the shelf, too. I waddle around that parking lot for about an hour, until I had mentally and emotionally dealt with all my worries in this way. I talked myself through everything. I had an action plan, I was relieved, I had perspective, I was calm, and I was ready to attack again. I thanked myself, got in my car, drove home, and diligently went to work on my Action Plan. When you confront yur fears and take action to diminish your worries, remove them, or set up contingency plans, you take control of your mind, and therefore your emotions and your life.
Nelson DeMille said, “Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.” You are bigger than your worries. You have a lot more strength that you think you have. You can choose how to deal with your worries - fight, or flight. You can let your worries dominate you, or you can decide to b the boss. Change your self talk, change your attitude, take action, and win.
Robin J. Elliott www.DollarMakers.com
